29th November, 2003.

Dear All,

I'm grabbing a moment on Saturday night while Chris Tarrant's jolly voice beams brightly from the next room during another edition of "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?". Ok, so "quiet" isn't really the right description of the moment. Chris is such a noisy boy. But good value. He and several other male friends of mine convened here at Batt Battlements about four weeks ago (you see, if I leave the newsletter long enough I get to include events long gone!) - for a Boys' Night dinner. My wife Julianne sometimes has girls-only dinners, so I thought I'd get my own back. Good fun, about ten of us including the great Rolf Harris, a gentleman I first worked with back in the seventies, and who is now just reaching his prime in HIS seventies! Back then, we co-presented a BBC programme for children in which we pulled The Wombling Song to pieces and re-built it as a schools music programme, at Abbey Road studios. If Rolf hadn't been an entertainer he would have easily made a great name just as a painter. I mean as a Great Painter. Which he is, anyway. He just has a new collection of limited editions out, which are simply beautiful.

The few months (sorry!) since I wrote my last weekly newsletter have been full of fun and high energy effort, getting Katie Melua's album out, and marketing it via Dramatico, our label. As I write, she is on the verge of going gold with 100,000 copies sold, after only 3 weeks on the market. We are so proud of Katie - she has developed in the one year we've known her, from a raw talent who'd only just taken up the guitar - to a potential World star, possibly one of the greats of her generation. Throughout that time, there has been one man who gave me the confidence to go it alone on my own label in the UK - and who almost single handedly has brought Katie to the public eye - or ear, I should say. That man is Paul Walters, senior producer at Radio Two - (Terry Wogan's producer), whose track record reaches way back, but recently includes taking Eva Cassidy's "Over The Rainbow" - (after a friend sent it to him from the bargain bin in a U.S. record store) and breaking her in this country, despite apathy from the rest of the radio business. This he has now also done with Katie, and his courage and good taste (but I WOULD say that, wouldn't I!) are what has given Katie a hearing which she definitely wouldn't have had otherwise. In fact, there is even an argument that says I might even not have signed Katie if I had not known of the power of Wogan, and - it has to be said - of Michael Parkinson, another man who can break an artist single-handedly (viz Jamie Cullum)- and who has also helped Katie. The THIRD man in this scenario is the mega talented Jeff Thacker, Senior Producer at Granada - who produced the Royal Variety Show this year, and who was astute enough to snap Katie up only a week before the show was to go on - because she entered the top 40 with her album just at the moment he was looking for a young singer who could deliver - completely live, some special magic. Those of you who caught the performance will, I'm sure, agree that this is exactly What Katie Did.

So now we career towards Christmas, keeping peddling (as in bike, not drugs!) - and hoping to be doing the right things to bring Katie further along the road. Her gig at Shepherd's Bush Empire was fantastic (see her site, www.katiemelua.com for further details and pictures). In the band were the delightful Henry Spinetti, whom we had seen two weeks earlier as the main drummer in the "Concert For George" (Harrison) movie - Tim Harries, the Best Bass Player In Christendom, and Jim Cregan, me old mate who absconded to the States years ago to work as Rod Stewart's main guitarist/writer/producer - just after being with Cat Stevens, then Cockney Rebel - where he delivered that ridiculously good acoustic guitar solo on "Make Me Smile (Come Up And See Me)" It was a great evening. I played piano, which was fun for me. The evening was promoted by Barry Marshall - who promotes Paul McCartney, Elton John - and Katie Melua! We are discussing a tour for early next year.

Well, this hasn't turned out to be a funny, whacky newsletter or a serious political one. Just facts. - So far, that is! Did I ever tell you the one about the Englishman, the Irishman and the Third World Dictator?.
I know, it's pathetic isn't it? I wish it was five minutes ago. I suppose my recipe for Chicken Maryland would only make things worse.

So many of you guys have asked about my solo albums, and other things like Snark and stuff, that I ought to tell you that we are negotiating at the moment to get them all out again, possibly all at once. I'll keep you posted. As you know, my newsletter tends to be a little slower than CNN, so if you hold your breath, take out life insurance first.

Well, now Chris has finished on the telly, Pop Idol result has been announced for this week - but I can't remember what happened, and now Donny Osmond is introducing a programme about the Seventies, that contains Stephen Gately singing Bright Eyes (some rather odd chords in there, guys, you should've bought the sheet music!) - but doesn't mention the Wombles. Maybe I ought to be grateful. It's when they ONLY mention the Wombles that my fur gets brushed up the wrong way. Which reminds me, Virginia, our lovely helper here at Batt Battlements, is currently washing all the old Womble costumes (they were FILTHY, darling!) - and they are hanging out to dry all along the landing. There's Great Uncle Bulgaria, Orinoco, Tomsk, Wellington, all headless. (Would I make this up?) It's like being in a weird film.

I think I'll Womble off to bed.

Be nice to each other, as you always are. I'm so glad God is English. (I reckon she is, anyway).
If you disagree with my decision not to include the recipe please write to the British Chicken Maryland Institute, 43, Kensington High Street, London. If you object to my religious views, write to The Archbishop Of Canterbury, Canterbury, (It's a bit like New York, New York). If you want to make an old man very happy, buy Katie's album for all your friends this Christmas, and don't forget, the fewer friends you have the less it will cost you.

Peace and Love.

Mike



30th July, 2003. This letter was written on 30th July but not posted til 20th August

Dear Everybody,

I thought I ought to drop you a line before I leave on holiday to Italy, otherwise where would you be? So here comes the latest Bulletin from Batt Battlements.

Katie Melua continues to get fantastic reaction. The Wogan Show on Radio 2 have received an astonishing number of enquiries after playing 'The Closest Thing To Crazy' and 'Call Off The Search'. The single will be 'The Closest Thing To Crazy' on October 6th and the album, 'Call Off The Search' will be October 20th. We were in Ireland again recently, putting brass and strings onto rhythm tracks recorded a few days earlier. The new songs give Katie' s album a nice, cool, blues/jazz vibe which we think is just right. You can easily check out her website (and some of the reactions) on www.katiemelua.com.

We went to see my mate, Gary Wilmot open in 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang' last week. He' s terrific. What a wonderful actor he is. I know he' s my mate, but I' ve always thought he was brilliant, even before I knew him. I saw him in 'Travels With My Aunt' recently and he knocks a lot of Royal Shakespeare types into a cocked hat. Chitty is very twee (that' s part of its charm) and there are at least three terrible songs that should be cut, but the Irish family next to us in the stalls were shrieking with delight. That' s the great thing about theatre - everybody gets something different from it.

Anyway, down to the serious business. There is an inflatable schoolboy who goes to an Inflatable school, has inflatable friends and inflatable teachers. One day, he decides he doesn' t like Mondays, so he goes into school with a pin. First he pricks his friends, then his teachers, then the school, and finally himself. The next day the headmaster calls round to the boy' s house in his inflatable car. He says to the boy 'Son, not only have you let your friends down, you' ve also let your teachers down, you' ve let the whole school down, but more importantly you' ve let YOURSELF down'

Contrasting that with reports I read in the Sunday papers about how prisoners in Iraq were often executed by being sliced downwards in two, through the head, and it makes me think that quite honestly we supposedly civilised countries should ALWAYS invade countries who have terrible civil rights habits. (Call me old fashioned, and I know it's not the answer, in fact I don't really mean it, or maybe I do - but pretend I do for a minute. There's a thread of rightness in this). Dictators should be regarded as world criminals, and regimes of fear should be taken over and run as part of a World government. I know this is sensitive stuff, but ever since, as a teenager I read about Idi Amin poking people' s eyes out and having prisoners bash each other' s brains out with sledge hammers, I' ve felt that Western Civilisation should wage war on torturers and mass murderers. Amnesty International should support such invasions. I think we did the right thing in Iraq - even if (as I greatly regret and abhor) - the US troops seem so lacking in training but bristling with firepower that they open fire at the slightest movement and ask questions later(or don' t). British troops rarely do that (Bloody Sunday being a possible exeption, with mysterious IRA elements complicating matters). We are better trained in policing (because of the legacy of experience from the now shrivelled and often immoral British Empire), and better able to deploy intelligent, well trained special forces.

Well, you wanted a newsletter, so that' s what you got. A recipe for prawn curry this isn' t.

On the other hand - get some prawns and do nothing with them for a minute. When the minute is up, take them and chuck them into a frying pan with a little pile of about four crushed garlic cloves and some butter and olive oil. Fry the lot for just a few seconds, maybe a minute. Pour in some white wine. (Chateau Chunda is good, don' t waste the best Blue Nun) - then build up a sauce by adding a little cornflower pre-mixed with cold water, some curry powder - some cayenne pepper and some chilli pepper. The two latter items to taste, but go easy - keep tasting it. If you have one of those frozen tomato and marscapone italian cheese sauces (of COURSE you do!) chuck a bit of that in to give you a nice fat, red taste. Put some seriously cool music on, like some Bangra or maybe Eine Kleine Nachtmusik. Eat the curry. Light up a huge cigar. Have a bath.

Hope you don' t mind the disjointedness of this letter - I am not very inspired today - being exhausted and ready for a holiday. If you disagree with my political views please write to M Batt Esq., Wimbledon Common, England. If you disagree with my recipe for prawn curry, please write to The British Prawn Curry Institute, 145 High Street Kensington, near Surrey, England.

Well, have a nice August, and don' t let those bastards get you. If a bird shits on your car windscreen, NEVER invite her out on a date again.

Lots of love

Mike

PS: I wrote the above on the day before leaving for my holiday, but didn't post it because I thought it was a bit strong. Now I've read it and it's fine, so you can read it! Incidentally, Idi Amin died while I was away. (Not a moment too soon).



Monday, 9th June, 2003.

Hello, young lovers, wherever you are,

This last couple of weeks has been full of bits of recording with the Planets - and the week before that I was back in New York again for 3 days with Katie. In between, I've been doing stuff in the office, which is always there to mop up any time I have when I'm not writing or recording.

With the Planets, we are recording three new tracks - "Sabre Dance" (Kachachurian), "Scheherezade" (Rimsky Korsakov) and "New Piece For The Planets" (Batt). Note how the least classically revered composer has the shortest and simplest name. Maybe I should change my name to Battsky-Michlof von Hampshire-Hoggsky. That would show the bastards.

Went to see the newly revamped production of Tell Me On A Sunday, (by Andrew Lloyd Webber and Don Black) last week. It was fantastic - Denise van Outen (there's a proper artist's name!) was magnificent as The Only Person In It - a fantastic job of acting and singing; the new songs and linking material was extremely well written both lyrically and musically.

We had a meeting of SODS (Society Of Distinguished Songwriters) on Friday, 23rd May. It was held at Rules restaurant in Covent Garden, and reigned over by this year's King Sod, Brian Bennett (drummer of the Shadows and currently very distinguished as composer of, ooh, lots of things). It was a civilised evening - we all wore dinner jackets as usual - and it was marred only by my telling the joke about the inflatable schoolboy (which contrary to your vile expectations and presumptions, is absolutely clean). About 18 other SODS were there, including Gary Osborne (War Of The Worlds, Blue Eyes), Justin Hayward (Nights In White Satin), Tim Rice (Ooh, lots of things) Mitch Murray (Bonnie and Clyde, Billy Don't Be A Hero) and Peter Callendar (Bonnie and Clyde and Billy, Don't Be A Hero).

Last Tuesday, 3rd June, we had a lunch for 12 radio and TV show producers at the Langham Hilton Hotel, hosted by Dramatico Entertainment Ltd., my company. The purpose was for them to meet Katie Melua, who also played and sang 4 songs, with The Cheapest Piano Player In Christendom as her accompanist (me). I think she made some friends. Her first two radio plays ever, took place on Radio Two's morning show Wake Up To Wogan - last week, and we were inundated with letters saying how fantastic she is. Well, we had four letters - well, one anyway - saying she was quite good - from her dad. Only kidding, Katie, if you're reading this, the station had loads of calls and e mails asking about your recording of "The Closest Thing To Crazy". At the lunch we had John Dory soup, Chicken breast with a Pasta Thingy, and Pear Tatin. Life just went into a suspended state of deliciousness.

Now it is 9th June, and I have returned to Batt Battlements ready for some recording tomorrow with various Planets. If Rimsky-Korsakov were alive today he'd be turning in his grave. Scheherezade with a reggae beat is novel, to say the least. Actually, I'm quite proud of it. Bob Marley meets the Classics. Puke not. It is Great Art, and don't you little buggers forget it.

Got to go, now. Time's a-wastin' and there are TV programmes to be watched, people to meet, cheese to be grated.

Hope your exams go well, or that you don't have any.

Love and cornflakes,

Mike



Wednesday 14th May, 2003.

Dear All,

Hah! That shocked you, didn't it! Bet you didn't expect a newsletter after 5 months! My last one wished you a Happy New Year. Maybe my next one will, too, if I go on neglecting you like this. Can't apologise enough, so won't! But thanks to those of you who wrote expressing concern about me - in fact I was fine, just couldn't face what I still perceive to be an awkward way of updating the site text, and so kept leaving it. I WILL try to be more diligent about keeping in touch in future.

Right now, I'm updating this on my laptop in my hotel room overlooking Central Park in New York, while I wait for Katie Melua to knock on the door so we can go out to see Billy Joel's musical, "Movin' Out" - on Broadway. I'm looking forward to it very much, because Billy is one of my big heroes. (There's a song title in there somewhere).

Katie and I are in New York for a week to see various record companies, as the bidding for her solo contract starts to get interesting. I don't mean financial bidding (or if I did, I wouldn't tell you) - I mean that there is much interest in her here - and I have decided to sign her to a US label. If you want more on Katie, try www.katiemelua.com. Read her biography notes there - her story is very interesting. I think she is going to be a very big star. Her website is still in its infancy - but looking good thanks to our webmaster, Robert Madsen.

Today we went to the studio of top photographer Michael Halsband (he has photographed Andy Warhol, Jagger, Bowie, Brian Wilson) - and had a good day shooting Katie looking moody in black leather jacket -indoors to a black background, and outdoors in the street, looking cool and New Yorkish.
(Got to run, now, so as not to miss the 8pm start of the show).

*********

Just got back from the theatre and taking up the letter again. Initially I was very disappointed with the show - it attempts to tell a story through dance (ballet mixed with modern) - and nobody in the cast sings or talks. The band - on a Snark-style "bridge" that moves up-down and fore-and-aft, are brilliant, and a singer sitting at the piano -Billy Joel style, provides all the vocal content. The lyrics, being the original pop song lyrics, however fantastic, can't hope accurately to indicate what is happening in this tenuous story created around the songs, and if you can't see characters singing on stage you aren't really focussing on the lyrics anyway. I was seriously unentertained, but Katie, who has never been to a musical, reminded me that the band were great and the dancing was good. The dancing actually got really brilliant in act two, and the two lead dancers were exceptional. So it was all worth while, but too many naff bits for me.

We rode home to the hotel in one of those bicycle taxi cabs with two seats, which was fun - down 46th Street to Sixth Avenue, past Radio City and along Central Park South. The girl who "drove" us said she does about a six hour shift. Must have arse muscles like a horse.

Anyway - now to do a fast rewind to give you some of what you missed for the past 5 months - well I've been back here to the States another couple of times in that period - preparing the ground for Katie, and setting up the Planets release. When the PLanets album was released in April, it went to number 7 in the Classical charts here - but that doesn't mean much in terms of sales. More importantly, they came over here for a 4 date tour (see their website for details of Philadelphia, Washington, Boston and New York). During that time we did three National TV's - a MHZ 30 minute special, (which was brilliant - a fantastic achievement for the band, who were superb, playing the 30 minute set straight through, with great energy and musical drive) - a piece for National Geographic channel, and a piece for CBS Sunday Morning, which I was interviewed for, too. At the time of writing, most of this TV has not gone to air yet.

Another thing we did which was worth telling you about, was a trip to Dublin with Katie to record strings on some of the tracks for her album. This happened in March. We recorded at Windmill Lane studios,and stayed at the Westbury, where David, the manager kindly updated me to the Presidential Suite, no less. My 13 -year-old daughter, on seeing the size of it (it is vast) said "Dad, this is big enough to be my first flat!" I said, "You'll be lucky if your last flat is this big". I don't know - kids today! Who'd 'ave 'em? (Me, actually!).

The orchestral players were absolutely great - both musically and personally - Ireland is a favourite place to record, and this experience only served to emphasise that feeling.

I'm falling asleep now, so I guess I might add a final paragraph or two during the next 48 hours. So check this space in about 49 hours for a hot update.

*****************

Here's the update, written on Sunday May 18th (I know this because I had to throw some ham away yesterday because it was dated 16th May and it was already 17th May). Katie and I got back from the States yesterday after a pleasant flight. Her whirlwind (first) trip to New York was a resounding success. She saw only a few labels, but ALL but one of them wanted to sign her, and the people from that one label were fantastically enthusiastic - we just haven't received a proper offer from them yet. Yippee! We now have a week or so here - Katie has her A level music exam (baroque harmony)on Thursday, and I am going to the Ivor Novello Awards on that day - and then we'll be on a plane back to New York to get closer to a final deal.

It's a normal weather (overcast-but-bright) day here at Batt Control. The garden is full of interesting birds this year (woodpeckers, Jays, finches, pied wagtails etc) and there are deer in the fields and an explosion of big, brown cotton-tailed rabbits in the garden. You wouldn't want to be dead even if they paid you loads of money.

Stay cool and boogie down,

Eat plenty of salad,

Lots of love,

Mike



Friday, 24th January, 2003.

Happy New Year, you guys.

My pre-Christmas trip to New York was great. The highlight was an impromptu visit to Radio City Music Hall to see the Rockettes in their Christmas show. Cheesy but brilliant. 36 beautiful high kickers (the Rockettes chorus line) - in a stunning family show - the precision dancing was fantastic. Notably,a 70 year -old routine in which they dance as wooden soldiers - awesome - and 50 Santas dancing, with a mirror coming down behind them, to create 100 Santas! Wish you could have been there. Even hardened rockers would have had to have admitted it was superbly done. The end - a nativity tableau - was awful - being far too holy and pious. It should have ended with holly, not holy! Not that I don't respect religion(s) - it was a showbiz thing - and schmaltzy religion for showbiz' sake I can't be doing with!

I also touched base with SONY in New York, with whom I am doing a publishing deal. They invited me to their Christmas party, which took place on a thunderous rainstormy night. I was lucky to buy a 10 dollar umbrella from a passing opportunistic umbrella salesman. Wonder what he sells on sunny days.

Meetings with EMI Records and William Morris Agency regarding the launch of the Planets, seemed to go very well - and it has now been decided that EMI will release in March and bring the band out in April, and it looks like they will play showcase concerts in at least New York, Chicago, Boston and Los Angeles.

The Planets spent a week doing concerts in Hong Kong, arriving back on 23rd December - I didn't go with them this time. Seemed to go well.

Christmas was nice and quiet at Batt Battlements. New Year, again, very quiet, but we get a free firework show where we live, because we live on a hill, and at midnight on New Year's Eve everyone across the valley seems to have a firework show, so it's always abundantly pyrotechnical round our way, of a New Year's Eve. So the kids were running through the house, excited about the fireworks, the dog was going mad, I was catching bits of Jools Holland big band show on TV and joining in the festivities. Hope this year brings less ominous things than we all fear it might.

Katie Melua came over for a few odd days here and there, to do writing and recording in preparation for her album, which we are already starting to put tracks down for. Sorry about that last sentence ending with a preposition. I don't know what I do it for. Katie and I are getting some good material together, and today we had another meeting with the major label which she is about to sign to. Doh! Done it again. In a minute I'll probably start to sneakily split infinitives without you noticing.

Must do another recipe soon. In fact I thought I might put together some recipes specifically linked to pieces of music (unlike my Dixie Chicks fish dish, in an early newsletter on this site - which was only loosely linked to the record timings). I thought I might describe some recipes that you cook AS THE ALBUM PLAYS so that you put the balsamic vinegar in during the third chorus of the fourth song, that kind of thing. Could be fun. Might make a book - hey! With CD's included. Remind yourself NOT to nick this idea before I do it! Let's see- we could have Schubert's Ninth Symphony Chicken Curry. You chop up the onions and apples during the exposition of the first subject of the first movement, starting with the beautiful horn motif at the beginning, during which you sweat some olive oil, butter and garlic together. By the Scherzo, everything's in and it's all sizzling away, and during the coda you shimmy to the table and serve it up. Haha! Must do it. Place your orders now.

Ahem - back to the newsletter - sorry, don't know what came over me, it won't happen again.

So lately it's been talks about the future of The Planets, in terms of the second album, States trip, etc, and a biggish tour in Japan next November. Oh, and we were recently in Dortmund for a very good week with the Circus Roncalli's Four Seasons concert "Circus Meets Classics", where the Planets played and I sang three songs at the piano, as well as doing a short stand-up routine (really!) as the clowns cleared up their mess. The songs were "Bright Eyes", "A Winter's Tale" and "Lady Of The Dawn". Good fun. A report of this trip is available on the Planets' German web site

So that was a memorable visit to Germany, and it all seemed to go down well with the audience. We did five shows throughout the weekend of 10th-12th January, in the 2,000 seat Dortmund Concert Hall, and it was packed.

Well, that's it for a while. Take care and don't spend all your money in one shop.

Love,

Mike